


Passacaglia

by kisahawklin



Series: Variations [4]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-05-18
Updated: 2009-05-18
Packaged: 2017-10-03 00:36:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kisahawklin/pseuds/kisahawklin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John and Rodney search for a home.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Passacaglia

Teyla looks at the newcomers warily. There is the potential for danger, but these two look so different from any of the peoples they trade with, she cannot get a sense of whether or not they are hostile. She knows appearances can be deceiving, but they do not carry weapons.

"Hi there," the one with the alarming hair says. "I'm John, and this is Rodney."

"Greetings," Teyla answers. "Teyla Emmagen, daughter of Tagan, leader of these people."

The one with the startling blue eyes is silent, staring at her like she is a ghost. He looks pained, perhaps hurt. Maybe that is what these travelers require.

"Do you seek aid?" Teyla says. "We do not normally deal with strangers, but we do not turn away those who are hurt." She places her hand on Rodney's arm, and he puts his hand on top of hers. It is warm, and covers hers completely.

"I'm not hurt," Rodney says, and squeezes her hand gently before letting his fall.

"And we hope not to be strangers for long," John adds, smiling at her. "We're..." he hesitates and glances at Rodney before finishing his thought. "We're new around here and looking for friends and allies."

"Come," Teyla says, leading them to a fire where there is water boiling. "Let us have some tea and get acquainted."

They are strange people, opposite from each other as two can be, and yet with an obvious bond that speaks to unflinching loyalty. Rodney glances at her often; she would assume he finds her pleasing except the melancholy in his eyes says otherwise.

"What do you seek?" Teyla asks as she pours the tea. "We trade food and medicine for the most part, though we do have artisans and tailors if you need things of that nature."

"We need information," Rodney says, and that surprises her. There is not much information to be had, and most of it is common knowledge among the peoples she knows.

"About the city of the Ancients."

Teyla takes a deep breath in, only partially covering her startled gasp. The Ancestors are not spoken of so matter-of-factly, they are revered, spoken of in hushed tones or chant. "All I know about the Ancestors was taught to me in childhood tales and song. None of us has ever seen one, nor do we know the location of their city."

Rodney nods slowly. "And no one has come through the gate in uniform? A group of several soldiers?" He glances up at John, seems to want to say something, but refrains.

Teyla shakes her head. "No, Athosians are mistrustful of strangers. We would have sent them away, or hidden."

Rodney nods. "We should go, then," he says to John. "If the expedition isn't to Pegasus yet, we might need to check on Elizabeth, and we may be able to salvage a few things."

Teyla glances between them. "Are you sure you don't want to stay for a while? I would like to hear more about this expedition."

Rodney smiles at her, his first truly happy expression since coming into their camp. "Thank you, Teyla," he says, and takes her by the arms, lowering his head. She can feel her heart race at the Athosian gesture - the curiosity about these strangers is almost unbearable.

She touches her forehead to his, soaking in the warmth of his hands on her arms, and impulsively she kisses his cheek. "I hope you will come again."

Rodney releases her and the smile fades, melancholy returning to his features. "We hope so too."

Something tells Teyla she will not see these travelers again.

* * *

"Halling," the one in blue calls, waving his arms frantically. Halling squints at him. He didn't recognize them immediately, but it is clearly McKay and Sheppard walking toward him.

"McKay," he says, smiling. It is always good to see his friends from Atlantis. "What brings you to new Athos?"

"We are looking for information," McKay says, and Sheppard is oddly silent and wary behind him.

"Sheppard," Halling says, reaching out to clasp his arm. Sheppard glances quickly at Rodney but returns the gesture heartily. "It is good to see you." He leads them over to a fire where there is water boiling. "What information do you seek? We have shared everything we've learned about the Genii with Atlantis."

He pours the tea, and McKay takes both cups, handing one to Sheppard. Something is not right with these two.

"I'll get straight to the point," McKay says, "but we are not the McKay and Sheppard you know."

Halling nods slowly. Teyla spoke about another Sheppard once, one that haunted their dreams. He knows there was another McKay at one time too, not in dreams but not of this world either.

"Why do you not seek help from Atlantis directly?" Halling asks, knowing the Lanteans would be able to do more for them than the Athosians.

"We will," McKay answers. "We wanted to start with the Athosians, because whether or not Teyla is here, and whether you are on Athos or Lantea or New Athos tells us a lot about what may have happened with Atlantis."

Halling takes care not to show his confusion. They have never lived on Lantea, or anywhere near Atlantis. They moved to New Athos when the flooding on Athos decimated their village and took their crops last planting season.

"We also need you to confirm the gate address for us."

Halling narrows his eyes. McKay and Sheppard should not need such information.

"I know," McKay says, seeming to sense Halling's discomfort. "It's just that we know of a couple of possibilities. And we're not going to go through - we just want to talk to whoever's in charge. They can come to us if they want. You can come with us to the gate, if that would make you feel better about it." He finishes his tea and sets the mug down. Sheppard has not touched his tea, but sets his mug down as well.

"I will accompany you," Halling says. There are not many predators on New Athos, but something tells him these two are less prepared for them than their counterparts from Atlantis.

* * *

"I still don't understand why you don't know your own symbols," Jinto says, swiping at the grass that's almost as tall as he is.

"I told you, we're not the John and Rodney you know," Rodney says, and Jinto can tell he is going to start yelling soon. Whenever he gets red in the face, yelling is always next.

"Cool it," John says, and Jinto smiles at him. John seems different - probably because he's not in uniform. "Jinto," John says patiently, putting a hand on his back and pushing him forward, out of the range of Rodney's yelling. Jinto can hear him mumbling behind them. "Your John and Rodney are safe in Atlantis, and we're just here from another dimension to visit."

"What's a dimension?"

Jinto wonders again if they are ghosts. 'His' John and Rodney were killed while trying to rescue Teyla, and he hasn't seen anyone from Atlantis for years. Ronon won't even come to New Athos anymore; Jinto had heard he had been captured and was running again, but he can never know for sure. Not until he is old enough to lead a trading party, anyway.

"A dimension is another place like this one, where things are kind of the same, but not totally. Like one where Teyla never went to Atlantis. Or where your John never came to Athos."

"Okay," Jinto says, though he can't really imagine a world where John Sheppard didn't come to Athos.

"Hey dumbass," Rodney says, a couple hundred feet away from them. "Gate's this way."

Jinto squints up at John. He shrugs and smiles, pressing his hand against Jinto's back again, steering them back to Rodney. Not so different from his John, Jinto thinks. He could get lost on a flat plain.

When they arrive at the Ancestor's circle, Rodney dials the wrong address. Jinto stops him before he creates the connection, shaking his head.

"Oh, okay," Rodney says. "How about this one?"

Rodney presses a different combination and Jinto shakes his head again. "No, I have never seen that address before."

"Huh," Rodney says, apparently stumped. "I know several addresses, but those were the only two I've ever known for Atlantis." He looks over at John and shrugs.

"Jinto, will you dial for us?" John asks. "We can look the other direction - like hide and seek."

Jinto laughs. It is good to see John and Rodney again, even if they are ghosts.

* * *

"Unscheduled activation," Chuck says, putting the shield up automatically. Elizabeth comes out of her office and cocks her head at the wormhole.

"I didn't think we had anyone offworld."

"We don't, ma'am. I'm getting an IDC. It's from New Athos."

Elizabeth stands up a little straighter. "We haven't heard from them in quite a while. Can you open a channel?"

"There's an audio transmission coming through." He puts it on speaker.

_"Hello?"_

He looks up at Elizabeth, certain his surprised expression mirrors her own. "That sounds like..."

"Rodney." She looks at him with such hope, even though Chuck was there when they found Rodney's body, he knows it can't possibly be Dr. McKay.

_"Hello, Atlantis? This is Dr. Rodney McKay."_

Colonel Teldy comes in as this is announced, and turns sharply to face Elizabeth. "Who is that?"

* * *

"Dr. McKay, apparently," Amelia answers. She knows it's not unusual to run into copies of their personnel from other dimensions - _especially_ Dr. McKay - but it doesn't make it any more weird. Especially when Dr. McKay is standing right next to her, a little too close, actually, bumping elbows with her as he tries to boss her out of her station.

"He's not me," McKay answers, as if that isn't patently obvious to everyone in the room. Amelia rolls her eyes, and Colonel Carter smiles at her.

"Banks, can you identify the frequency? Is it on Atlantis radios?"

"Yes, sir," Amelia says, "but they're not quite the same as ours. There's a slight-"

"Difference in signal strength, yes, yes," McKay finishes for her. She elbows him in the thigh and he gapes down at her.

_"John Sheppard is here too,"_ the voice says, and the entire control room goes deathly still.

McKay recovers first, whirling on Colonel Carter. "Sam," he says, bustling over to her, "We should hear them out. Maybe we can arrange a trade. I'm sure that other me knows something about alternate dimensions that might be useful in-"

"Hold your horses, Rodney," Sam says, putting a hand on his arm. "I know you want to see Colonel Sheppard again. We all do. But we have to take precautions. What if this is a trap? What if the Genii are behind this, or Michael? He cloned Carson, maybe he found DNA from yourself and the colonel as well."

"Then we'll still be us. Hell, we're probably on a jailbreak!"

* * *

_"Hello?_ McKay asks again, this time the annoyance in his voice is obvious. It was probably obvious before, but Peter's used to it, so he figures he's somewhat immune. _"Obviously you're there, the shield is up. Just let us know if you're not going to talk to us, we'll go find Ronon._

"Who's Ronon?" Lorne asks.

Woolsey shrugs. "No idea."

_"Is Radek there at least? He helped us last time, and I think we're getting close."_

"We have met people from other alternate dimensions before," Lorne points out. "Right, Grodin? That Kavanagh was a hell of a surprise. Or how about Jocelyn O'Neill? I heard she really tore it up at the SGC."

"The problem is not whether or not they are from another dimension but if they are setting a trap or aiding our enemies," Woolsey says, as if he's reading it from the SGC textbook.

"McKay and Sheppard?" Peter asks. "I can't imagine two guys less likely to do anything to hurt Atlantis." He catches Woolsey's eye. "At least tell them we need time to discuss it before they give up on us."

"All right," Woolsey says, and signals Lorne, Zelenka, and Teyla into the conference room.

"Give us a while to discuss it," Peter says into the radio. "We need to talk things to death before we agree."

_"So Woolsey's in charge then?"_ McKay asks. _"Guess we'll go looking for Ronon this time around."_

* * *

Ronon watches them come through the circle of the Ancestors. The ship disappears nearly as soon as it clears the threshold, and it doesn't appear to be of Wraith design, so Ronon concentrates on collecting supplies, keeping it in the back of his mind.

It's a little more disconcerting the next time he sees them, tromping through the forest like _haari_ beasts, no sense of the danger all around them. They are coming toward him in a straight line, as if they can see him, even though he's up in a tree, well above their sightlines.

"I don't understand," the broader one says. "He should be right here."

"Maybe you're reading it wrong," the skinny one says, taking something away from the other one.

"Ronon?"

Ronon nearly falls out of the tree at his name. He remembers every person he's told his name to since he's been running (four in eleven years time) and these two are definitely not on that list.

"Ronon! Come on, I know you're all super-sneaky, but you can trust us. We're here to help you."

The skinny one figures it out and looks up. "Hey there," he says, sounding amused. "Specialist Ronon Dex, I presume?"

They don't appear to have weapons, but he knows better than to think they don't have some concealed somewhere. "Who are you?"

"John Sheppard," he says, palm on his chest in a gesture of sincerity. He points at the blue-eyed guy. "And Rodney McKay."

"_Dr._ Rodney McKay," the other one corrects. "And I can help you with that transmitter in your back."

Ronon wants to touch his back, feel the bump of the transmitter under his skin, but he knows better.

"Oh, come on," the doctor says. "What more proof do you need? You're from Sateda. You were in the armed forces there. You were engaged to a woman named Melena, who died when the Wraith wiped out your city. You taskmaster was Kell, an utter asshole who betrayed you all. Any of this sounding familiar?"

Ronon jumps down, landing gracefully between the two. "Melena wouldn't speak to me after I beat up her brother," he grumbles. "Who are you? How do you know me?"

"Come with us," Sheppard says, turning around to walk back the way they came. "Rodney can explain while we walk back to the jumper."

The explanation about alternate realities aside, McKay doesn't seem like a nutcase, so he goes with them willingly. If nothing else, he's pretty sure he can break both of them in half, and they've probably got some nice stuff on that ship of theirs.

"So I was part of your team?" he asks for the fifth time. He can't imagine teaming up with someone so obviously ill-trained and weak. "Why did we need you?"

"I'm about to short-circuit that transmitter of yours," McKay says. "That's why."

"What about you?" he asks, looking at Sheppard. "You didn't know me?"

Sheppard shrugs. "Not before I met Rodney. Now I've met fourteen of you. I think I liked the poet the best."

"Poet," Ronon says, frowning. "So I wasn't a runner?"

"Not that time," McKay answers, fiddling with several cords that lead to the machine he's holding. "You were all the other thirteen. And when you're a runner, you're remarkably consistent from one reality to the next. It's a little eerie, to be honest."

"You think that's weird, you should see it from this side," Ronon says. He watches McKay for a little while longer before getting impatient. "You gonna take care of this or what?"

"Yeah," McKay answers, and yanks on his shirt. He puts something cold on Ronon's back, he can feel the metal, both of McKay's machine and the transmitter in his spine. "Hold still," McKay says. "Oh - and this might hurt."

Ronon's body jerks convulsively as he's slammed hard with whatever energy Rodney is putting through the thing on his back. It's a long moment before it stops, and he ends up resting on his stomach, breathing hard like he's been fighting. He grabs Sheppard's ankle and trips him, crawling up him until he can get an arm around his neck. "Don't do that again."

McKay puts his hands up. "Hey, we're your friends. One zap, that's all it takes. Here!"

He hands Ronon another small machine, and the screen is blank. "I don't know what that means!"

"It means you aren't transmitting anymore," McKay says, wringing his hands. "So please let John go."

He releases Sheppard. He doesn't trust these two, but he doesn't _dis_trust them, which is the strangest thing about the pair. "Now what?"

"Whatever," McKay says. "Settle down, get married, hunt Wraith, beat people up, do whatever you want to do."

"Where are you going?" Ronon asks. A strange feeling is bubbling out of him, and he hasn't panicked in a long time, but the idea that these strangers came to save him and now have to leave makes him unaccountably nervous.

"We've got another you to rescue," McKay says. "Several yous, probably." He flips Ronon a strange little machine, like the one he carries but smaller and rounder. "This is a Wraith detector," he says. "Made it myself." Sheppard raises an eyebrow and McKay corrects himself. "Found them, sort of, and modified them myself."

Ronon shakes it a little and the screen jumps and then settles.

"I figure you could use the advantage for a little while."

* * *

"I understand your concern, Sergeant Bates, but if they really only have four days, we can't afford to waste that time examining them. We could really use Rodney's expertise around here. The science team is barely keeping their heads above water."

Elizabeth manages to keep her voice utterly calm, but she's going by gut as much as anything else on this. There's no way any Rodney McKay from any universe could be less than invaluable. There are plenty of political arguments for it, and she'll use them, especially with Bates, but it's Rodney himself that convinced her. The cranky greeting, the matter-of-fact remarks about his genius, the posturing about his valuable time... this McKay wouldn't hurt them any more than their own McKay would.

"I know you think this guy is just like our Rodney," Sheppard says, and Elizabeth knows he's only being protective of her and Atlantis, but it makes her blood boil all the same. John knew Rodney better than all of them, if he can't recognize the similarity, then Elizabeth is going to have an uphill battle on her hands. "But he's not our Rodney. He's someone else's Rodney. And he's got a non-military me with him."

"How do you know he's non-military?" Bates asks.

Elizabeth closes her eyes and takes a deep breath before answering. Bates is a solid security officer, but not good at getting the details. "Rodney didn't mention John's rank."

John nods at her, and she thinks maybe, just maybe, he's on her side in this.

"Maybe a quick lookover by Carson? Would that satisfy you?"

* * *

"Would she be able to tell us anything?" Dusty asks. She can't help but agree with Dr. McKay on the idea that medicine is mostly voodoo. "I mean, Keller's good at her job, but what kind of verification can medicine provide?"

Teyla puts a hand over her eyes. Lorne grins and looks down at the conference table. He's entirely too fond of Ms. Emmagen - it makes Dusty's job twice as difficult. Having the military leader in her pocket makes Atlantis run smoothly for Teyla, but it makes them an almost unbreachable wall in terms of security.

"Fine," McKay snaps, "_I_ can do it. I can measure whether or not they've got tachyon particles on them."

"Doc?" Lorne asks. Dusty isn't sure what's going on, but she has the distinct feeling that her objections are going to be steamrollered. _Again_. "I thought tachyons were Star Trek. Made up, right?"

McKay rolls her eyes. "Yes, Lorne, that's the point. If it's really an alternate me, there's nothing any test in Atlantis can do to verify it."

"But it can tell if he's human or replicator," Dusty says doggedly. She's not wrong about this - these people take way too many security risks. "It can tell if he's a clone, or if Michael's injected Wraith DNA."

"Seriously, Mehra?" Rodney asks. "Because that means bringing that other me into Atlantis - which even _he_ knows is a security risk, which is _why he's not asking_."

* * *

"Some of that can be done with handheld scanners," Richard answers, more to get Dr. Biro on his side than to justify Major Teldy's paranoia. He understands caution, but considering the casualties they've had in the last years without Dr. McKay and Colonel Sheppard, he would like a chance to convince them to stay. Any version of them has got to be better than none.

"Sir, I don't think this is a good idea. We have no idea who those people really are, and no way to discern their motives." Major Teldy sits up a little straighter. He wonders if she hated Sheppard as much as the rumor mill suggests.

"I understand that, Major Teldy, but we've been scraping by since we lost our Sheppard and McKay, and we keep hemorrhaging personnel. Maybe this McKay can at least get us back in contact with Earth."

Richard doesn't say that the military personnel are diminishing at an astonishing four percent a week; it's not her fault, and she's had a hard enough time with Sheppard and then Lorne being KIA.

"Dr. Simpson?" he asks. "Do you agree?"

Zelenka's death is fresh in his mind - the explosion took four Marines and three scientists, and Zelenka's loss was the toughest. He wasn't McKay, but he had been making real progress toward getting back in touch with Earth. He might have even been able to do it a lot sooner if he hadn't needed to keep checking over the other scientists' shoulders.

Simpson nods weakly. She's looking a little tight around the eyes. It's been hard on everyone, stepping up as their superiors are killed off by Atlantis, the Wraith, the Genii, the Replicators, and Michael's mutants, but she seems to be taking it more personally than Teldy or Biro. He'll have to make time to bolster her confidence when this is all over.

"Okay, so we do what we can to confirm their identities with the handheld scanners, and then we see what they have to offer," Richard decides firmly. Before Anne can object again, he gives her an order. "Major Teldy, SGA-1 and SGA-2 as well as two teams of Marines in two jumpers."

"Yes, sir."

* * *

"Colonel, if I might have a word?" Evan asks, cornering Sheppard as the rest of the personnel wander out. Radek glances over his shoulder at them, but doesn't stop.

"Yes, Lorne, what?" Sheppard's lost some of his charm since he's been in charge. He's got a lot more gray in his non-regulation hair, and worry lines around his eyes. Evan tries to make things easier when he can. This isn't one of those times.

"I don't think this is a good idea."

"Objection noted," Sheppard says, trying to slip past Evan. He's skinny, but not that skinny, and Evan takes a half-step to the side that means Sheppard'll have to shove him out of the way to get out of the conference room. The colonel steps back and crosses his arms, a gesture so reminiscent of McKay it hurts. "What?" he asks petulantly. "Can you give me anything more than 'I don't like this' or 'it feels funny'?"

Evan stares. Sheppard's the one without good reasons. Evan's objections are rational, distant. "If this was anyone but McKay, you know you wouldn't even consider it. It's too risky. We have too many enemies out there now, too many who remember the two of you enough be messing with us."

"It isn't _anyone but McKay_," Sheppard answers, as if that's what they're really arguing about. "You know he can do more good for Atlantis than twenty other people. If there's a chance he can help us, we have to talk to him."

"Sir," Evan objects, ready to stand in Sheppard's way all day if that's what it takes to make him see reason.

"Lorne, I'm going." Sheppard checks his thigh holster and knife. "But if it makes you feel better, I'm going fully loaded."

* * *

"I am going with you," Teyla says, and Daniel smiles tightly and forces himself not to roll his eyes.

"I don't think it's a good idea for the three highest officials in Atlantis to go together," Daniel says calmly, using Teyla's own diplomatic tricks on her.

"Then make Rodney stay behind," Teyla says. "He should not go until we assess the safety of the situation."

Daniel laughs. As if he can control anything McKay does. They practice hand to hand together, two geeks trained by two soldiers, and McKay beats him more often than not these days. "You know as well as I do how stubborn McKay is. Send a couple of teams of marines and Ronon. That's enough to deter anybody."

Teyla looks like she's going to protest again, so Daniel cuts her off at the pass. "I need you to be in charge while I'm gone, Teyla."

Teyla rolls her eyes and Daniel knows he's convinced her. He may not be one for regulations, but he does keep an eye to not letting the whole top tier of Atlantis brass go traipsing offworld together.

"Don't worry," Daniel says. "With my luck, it's bound to be a real McKay. And then we'll have to deal with two of them."

* * *

"I can't tell you how excited I am," Laura says as they load up the jumpers. "Two McKays! Whatever will we do with you both?"

"I can think of a few things," Keller says, and ew, Laura really didn't want to think about that _at all_. Rodney makes puppy dog eyes at her and Laura huffs past them to the co-pilot's seat.

"Stackhouse," she says, "get us out of here."

"Yes, ma'am," Stackhouse answers, and she knuckle punches his arm. "I mean, yes, sir."

"You haven't grown balls yet," Rodney says, and Laura decides she likes Keller a little better when she smacks him.

"You know everyone's supposed to be called 'sir,'" Keller says, smacking him again. "You're the big boss, you should be setting a good example."

"I make an exception for Cadman," Rodney says, giving her a sarcastic half grin.

"You make an exception for good looking military commanders of Atlantis," Laura says, and Rodney's smile goes brittle. That was stupid, she reprimands herself, turning around to face forward.

Stackhouse negotiates them through the wormhole and out into open air well enough, and Laura tries to ignore Rodney boring a hole in her skull with his eyes as she scopes out the little camp next to a puddlejumper. It's remarkably homey looking, a campfire with a kettle on and John Sheppard in jeans and a sweater, cooking some meat on a stick.

He stands when they come through the gate, shading his eyes from the sun and watching them circle and land. The second jumper stays in the air, floating above the pair of parked jumpers like a weird giant chandelier.

McKay comes out of the back of the jumper as they file out, and he stands next to Sheppard, close. Really close. Close enough for them to whisper before anyone gets into listening distance.

"Cadman," McKay says. "That's a first."

"What?" Laura asks, and looks at her Rodney. He squinches up his face unattractively.

"You're the first Cadman he's met as military commander of Atlantis," Rodney explains, and the other McKay grins.

"So I'm commander of Atlantis?" the other McKay asks, glancing at Keller before meeting Rodney's eyes. "I mean, it is you, right, not Keller?"

"Keller?" Keller says, and the other McKay rolls his eyes.

"Involved, are we?"

"Yeah, so what?" Rodney asks, and Laura bites back her smile at Rodney getting a dose of his own medicine. "I suppose you were with Carter."

John laughs at that, and Laura gets it right away. Rodney must too, his face is turning pink, and the subject is dropped like a hot potato. "Well, never mind that. We're here. If you don't mind, Jennifer would like to run a few scans before we go any further into discussions."

"No blood?" John asks, and now Keller blushes.

* * *

"I told you, Carson's a vampire," the other Rodney says, and Carson rolls his eyes. It seems this Rodney isn't a big believer in medicine either.

"Rodney," Carson says, and stops dead when Rodney and John roll up their shirtsleeves to show arms that look like they belong to drug users.

Colonel Sheppard walks over to Rodney and pulls his arm up, inspecting it. "How many Atlantises have you been to?"

John answers him. "We've only been in seven. But we've met with people from thirty-four so far, and they want blood almost every time."

Colonel Sheppard releases Rodney's arm but continues to stand a little too close. Carson squeezes his way in - "Excuse me, Colonel," - and inspects Rodney's arm. "Had trouble a couple of times?"

He shrugs. "Not all of you are equally experienced at getting blood in the field."

Carson frowns. "Do you mind telling me how many more jumps you think you will be doing this to yourself?"

Rodney shrugs again. This Rodney is so much more casual than his Rodney, it's hard not to think he might actually be on drugs. "I don't think we can do it in less than ten jumps, and with our luck, it'll be closer to fifty. It just depends who's in Atlantis when we jump."

"I can put a cath in," Carson says, and for a moment, Rodney breaks out in a huge grin. Then he sobers up.

"Even with all the poking around we've had already?"

"I can do it in your chest." He could do it in the field if he had to, but the preliminary scans all say they are who they say they are, and he'd like to get them to Atlantis for a more thorough physical. John looks entirely too thin, and he'd like to check Rodney's blood pressure and cholesterol, just in case.

"Colonel, they are non-replicated humans, they're definitely not cloned, and as far as I can tell, no one has messed with their DNA. Judging by their stories and the way the jumper looks, I believe them."

"Great," Colonel Sheppard says, picking Rodney up by his jacket and kissing him.

* * *

"It was really thoughtful of Carson to provide the cath," Jennifer says, leaning over Rodney a little further than she should. She can't help it; she can smell him, how he smells like her Rodney, almost, and he's been gone for years, and...

"Hey," John says behind her. "I get that you miss your husband and all, but this Rodney is _mine_."

"Right, of course," Jennifer says, pulling the tube off the cath and tucking it in a tac vest pocket. The hard edge in his voice is the first indication she's felt of their Sheppard in this John.

"You too," she says, waiting for him to unbutton his shirt and give him access to his cath. "While this is fascinating," she says to Sam, "I am pretty sure they are who they say they are. I can test a few things with the blood, but the scans are sufficient to know that they're human, not cloned, and whole, for the most part."

Sam nods. He's staring at Rodney like he's a ghost, and boy does Jennifer understand. Seeing him just sitting there makes her want to crawl into his lap and make him read to her. Well, all right, hopefully that's not what Sam is thinking, but it's probably something along the lines of not quite believing there's a Rodney - _any_ Rodney - within touching distance.

"I could really use your help," Sam says, and Rodney laughs, a sound that almost makes her drop the tube she's using to collect John's blood.

"That's funny, Sam, I was just going to ask for yours."

* * *

Kate concludes her exam with blood samples, not that she needs them, but since they have the cath anyway, she might as well take advantage. It's interesting to see the difference between this John and her John, the openness in this John making her ache. She doesn't realize she's been staring until Rodney clears his throat.

"You and Sheppard?" he asks. "I can't imagine any Sheppard willingly getting involved with a shrink."

She smiles tightly. "I'm not a psychiatrist. I'm an M.D."

"Oh," Rodney says, and crosses his arms. "In my reality you were... obviously."

"Obviously." She looks Rodney over. "And in my reality, you were a genius."

"Hey!" Rodney says, but John laughs, an uncomplicated smile on his face, and Kate can feel her pulse speed up at the sight.

"Gayle, they're fine," she says, shading her eyes as she turns to Woolsey. "Their story checks out as much as we can tell, and there's nothing unusual on their scans."

Woolsey wanders closer, out of the shade of the large trees where she's been standing.

"Well, Dr. McKay, would you like to come home?"

* * *

Teyla is tired. She thought being able to rest in Atlantis, even if only every few shifts, would take away some of the ache that makes the shifts harder ever time.

Instead it makes it worse. Each shift feels like it is pulling her open, that soon she will be a cracked shell with space and time whistling over her bones like sand in a desert.

John is restless and Rodney is afraid, and those emotions wear on her too. The tension between them ebbs and flows like a tide and takes small pieces of her with them. Larger pieces now, since she had not expected to continue the shifts this long. Rodney patches her as best he can, but he does not see that she is cracking along the edges, that her hold on things is slipping. If she goes, he and John will be left to the vagaries of chance, and she could not bear to see them shift inside a star or to a reality where the universe has not expanded to the Pegasus galaxy yet.

Rodney and John fight, anger and frustration passing between them, bitter words they can't take back and don't really mean. She soothes John, and John eventually soothes Rodney, but this too takes a toll.

* * *

"No no no!" Radek shouts, pointing to a readout on the screen. "It will never work - the system is too fragile to overload with that sort of energy."

"Atlantis is sturdier than you think," Rodney answers, and Radek is caught between wanting to smack Rodney for being so obstinate and hug him for just being there and not being insane.

They alternate four hour shifts, working on how to shut down the alternate reality drive and then on Atlantis's numerous technical problems that have gotten out of hand since Rodney was sent back to Earth last year.

The first thing Rodney does is fix the shield emitters to create a stronger shield with half as much power. Radek gapes and sputters for a moment, until it becomes clear that this Rodney has an ego the size of a planet, just like their Rodney used to. Radek knows how to deal with _that_ and it doesn't take long to fall into a rhythm of completing each other's sentences.

John pops in with Colonel Sheppard from time to time, usually grinning from ear to ear at having been beat up by Ronon or Teyla. Rodney and John usually kiss hello and goodbye, and Radek can ignore them, but it's hard to ignore the pained look on Colonel Sheppard's face.

Radek is already scheming to get the colonel drunk once the two of them leave - there's no way they will figure out the drive in the two and a half days they have left, so he's sure they _will_ leave - and see if he can do something to assuage his guilt. Everyone knows he takes all his Earthside leave to visit Rodney, but it's not something anyone talks about. Radek knows they were not lovers, but he is one of the few. He wonders, when Sheppard watches this other version of himself, if he wishes he had taken that chance.

Radek doesn't sleep much, he's gotten used to taking catnaps here and there, much like Rodney did when he was at his most efficient. Radek's not surprised to see Rodney in the jumper bay when he arrives in the middle of the night.

"Couldn't sleep?" Rodney asks. Radek shrugs. "Hmm," Rodney says. "John's flailing tonight - he always does when we find a reality with Ronon and Teyla. It's like some part of him is fighting leaving them behind again."

Radek smiles softly. "Ronon sleeps like the dead. I could not wake him if Atlantis were on fire."

Rodney looks startled at that. "Ronon?" he squeaks. "How did that happen?"

"How do any of these things happen?" Radek asks. "We fell into each other." It hits him like a hammer - Rodney's met dozens of iterations of him, and Ronon is a surprise. "I have never been with Ronon before?"

Rodney turns back to the crystal display, and waits so long to answer that Radek wonders if he will have to ask again.

"You don't normally share that sort of information," Rodney says. "I only ever found out by accident, and then it was a pretty even split between Lorne and Miko."

"Miko?" Radek chokes. "I like women?"

"In at least three realities, yes," Rodney answers, and he's blushing. Radek is curious now, so he presses the issue.

"Who have you been with mostly?" he asks.

Rodney sighs loudly. "Sheppard. It's a little alarming, actually. Since we've gotten to the Pegasus galaxy, the statistics have been markedly skewed toward the McKay-Sheppard side of the equation. Though every once in a while we get a big surprise. Like the reality where John was married to Katie Brown and the reality-" Rodney shivers a little, "-where I was dating Kavanagh."

Radek shivers too. Kavanagh had nearly single-handedly gotten their entire expedition killed.

"Kavanagh was female in that reality - Linda, her name was - but it doesn't make it any less disturbing."

He hasn't even thought about the many amazing experiences Rodney must have experienced, jumping for so long. "What else have you seen?"

* * *

"So I'm married to an English professor," Jeannie says in disbelief. "And I have _children_? Why on Earth would I do that?"

Rodney smiles, the exact same lopsided smile as her sister, and she has to turn away and look up until the tears that are threatening go away.

"You're a surprisingly good mom," Rodney says, and Jeannie smacks him.

"I'm not a mom. Jesus, I'd be a _terrible_ mother," Jeannie says, and before she can stop herself she adds, "Meredith, though. She was always great with kids."

Rodney sobers, putting a hand on her arm gently. "I'm sorry," he says for the millionth time since he showed up.

"Shut up," she says, pasting on the brightest smile she can fake, and pulling down the breaker box. There's a dull patch where the crystals aren't receiving power, and she sticks her hands in, feeling her way by the heat the active crystals are generating.

"Do you go through a lot of these?" she asks as she pull out a blackened crystal. "It looks like it's the power exchange from the regular drive to the alternate reality drive."

"No," Rodney says. "We've never burned out a crystal before."

"There's another dead crystal here," she says, removing it and holding it out for Rodney to inspect. "If you've got this mapped the way I think you do, that's for power distribution."

Rodney elbows his way in, just like her sister always did. "It is," Rodney says. "I have no idea why these would blow out now."

"Maybe Teyla's trying to tell you something," John says, and Jeannie and Rodney both turn to look at him. He wanders in, putting an arm around Rodney's waist possessively. Jeannie turns away so they don't see her smile.

"Teyla's a puddlejumper," Rodney says, and Jeannie can't help it, she laughs. It delights her that McKay named the puddlejumper after Teyla.

John chuckles along with her. "You never get the feeling she's trying to tell you something?"

"Teyla?" Rodney asks, and Jeannie glances at him. There's a certain amount of typical skepticism, but something makes his eyebrows go up. "Batteries!" he shouts, and shoves her out of the way so he can look at the distribution relays.

* * *

"If we drain the power out of the drive into the puddlejumpers energy cells," Rodney says, and Sam slaps her forehead as it suddenly it becomes crystal clear.

"It'd have to be right after a jump," Sam says. "No more than a day, max. Otherwise too much power would build up."

Rodney grimaces. "It's not really enough time to determine if it's the right Atlantis. What if we're stuck somewhere we're not wanted, or where circumstances-"

"We can't keep doing this forever," John says, and it's the most typical Sheppard thing Sam's heard him say since he got here. "I don't want to live in four day chunks anymore."

Sam lowers her eyes, but not before she catches a glimpse of the open-mouthed shock on Rodney's face. She edges toward the back of the jumper.

"I'll just..." she starts, but neither one of them is paying attention to her, so she turns and hurries out of the jumper bay.

* * *

"I'm not doing this for my health," Rodney says, his voice echoing in the jumper bay. John stops in his tracks. He was going to offer his help, even though that other him glared daggers at him every moment he was within ten feet of Rodney.

"You're dragging it out," the other John says, and that's definitely a note of annoyance in his voice.

"I don't think you understand how complicated this is. We have to reroute the power through at least three relays - four or five would be better - and it's a very complicated process."

"I know that you used to come up with solutions in minutes and now you're taking months! Why don't you want to find someplace to stay?"

John turns to go. This is definitely not something he wants to get in the middle of and he's already heard more than he should. Their voices follow him to the door, Rodney angry and defensive, John plaintive and frustrated. He swipes his hand over the crystals and something makes an ominous clicking sound. He runs back toward the puddlejumper, ducking inside and slamming the hatch shut.

John and Rodney both turn to stare at him, Rodney's rage softening into irritation and John's irritation ramping up to rage. "Were you eavesdropping?" he asks.

"Shh," John says, brushing past them to look out the jumper at the door. He turns on the microphones, trying to pick up the clicking sound. "You hear that?"

"Shit," Rodney says. "Put the shields up!"

"I already did that, McKay," John says, forgetting for the briefest of moments that this guy isn't his boss - just a different Rodney from some other reality, somewhere John was a pilot and not a scientist, somewhere John was a hero. He's not bitter. Much.

He taps his radio to see if he can raise the gateroom, but there's interference. He swears even though he expected it. He brings up the sensors on the jumper, tweaked a surprising amount, and locates the source of the ticking.

There's small capsule behind the crystals for the door. It looks like it's drawing power from Atlantis, its energy signature getting bigger by the moment. Rodney's eyes go wide when he sees the cyclical nature of the readings, and John gets it - a second after McKay, like everything else in his life. He's pretty sure the shields will hold, but the rest of the puddlejumpers will be blown to bits.

Before he can lament the loss of their jumpers, Rodney hits the hatch and runs full-tilt for the door. He looks at the other John, who's so surprised he forgets he's supposed to hate John. "Well?" Other John asks. "Aren't you going to go help?"

John's not a coward, exactly, but he's not great under pressure, and he doesn't see how he could even help Rodney with what he has to do. There's not really room for two people to go poking around the crystals in the space behind the door. He doesn't have the chance to provide an argument, as John grabs his lab coat and drags him over to where Rodney is elbow-deep in crystals and wires.

"John," Rodney says, not even looking up. "I need the laptop with Teyla's cycling patterns on it."

The other John runs back to the puddlejumper and John shifts nervously from foot to foot. "What can I do?" he asks, since having something, anything to do with his hands will keep him from freaking out about how close he is to a bomb.

"Hold this," Rodney says, and thrusts three crystals, several bits of wire and metal and the top of the capsule into his hands. It's still drawing power - John can hear it in the rising pitch of the clicking and the underlying wheeze that wasn't audible from the jumper.

Other John comes back with a laptop and Rodney hooks something up to it, typing away furiously. "Sheppard," he says, and John snaps his eyes to Rodney immediately. The other John doesn't even blink, so John figures that's how Rodney keeps his John separated from all the rest of them in his head. He wishes he had a simple delineation like that, for him and the guy that looks like him, but isn't.

Rodney transfers the laptop from the other John to him, and he holds it up for Rodney to type. Being the makeshift desk in an emergency situation isn't his brightest moment ever, but he's glad to be serving some kind of purpose.

Other John is running back to the jumper, fishing something out of a side compartment - John hadn't even known jumpers _had_ side compartments - and bringing two sets of cables to Rodney. He hooks them into the capsule somehow, and John can feel the difference in the air as the power drains from the bomb into the puddlejumper.

"Set that down," Rodney says, and John puts the laptop gently on the floor. "This is going to explode approximately forty seconds after I unplug it, so you two need to get into the jumper and put the shields up."

"No," Other John says, looking to John for support. He raises his eyebrows - he was planning on obeying the order. He doesn't want to get blown up. "Oh for chrissakes," Other John says. "I'll do it."

"No," Rodney says, "you'll get in the jumper."

"You can't run for shit," Other John says, putting a hand on the capsule. "I've been working my sprints with Ronon for the last eighteen jumps."

Rodney looks torn, which surprises the hell out of John. John's McKay wouldn't think twice about going to the jumper and waiting for someone else to risk their neck. He's intrigued by this version of Rodney McKay, with his oddly heroic attitude and fast hands.

"Let me," Other John says, and Rodney nods.

"Sheppard, go get in the jumper." John goes - he doesn't have to be told twice. He watches Rodney and his alter-ego wrestle with the capsule a little bit, and then Rodney comes running his way. He runs straight into the front of the jumper, watching Other John through the viewer as he unhooks the cables, runs for the hangar door, and tosses the bomb into the ocean.

It's not as big a blast as John expected, and his alternate self is only thrown across the hangar, not blown up or smashed into the far wall or something else equally nasty. He's getting up by the time they get to him.

"Let's go," Rodney says, helping Other John up.

"Shouldn't he go to the infirmary?" John asks. "Carson will have a fit if he doesn't get scanned every which way from Sunday."

Rodney looks at him funny for a half a second before he dismisses him altogether and looks at Other John. "Teyla's going to jump in less than half an hour."

"Oh," John says simply. The extra power sped up Teyla's cycle. She has to jump soon, or she'll blow with a hell of a lot more damage than the little capsule they're going to have dig up so they can find who would've done this. "Maybe you can use this," John says. "Make the timing of her jumps less rigid."

Rodney beams at him, and John can see his suggestion being turned into equations and blueprints in Rodney's face. It's depressing, the gulf between John's intelligence and Rodney's genius, even though their IQs are only twenty points apart.

He leaves Rodney thinking about the possibilities and goes to collect the laptop and other equipment Rodney's left lying around the jumper bay. Rodney grabs it all out of his hands when he brings it back to the jumper and looks at him with sympathy. "Wish we could stay a little longer," Rodney says. "You're an interesting iteration of John Sheppard."

John shrugs. He doesn't feel interesting. He feels cowardly and a little nauseous. "Wish I had a chance to get to know you better."

Rodney smiles. "Get to know McKay better. It's just as good."

John highly doubts that, especially since McKay hasn't done anything but look down his nose at John since he got to Atlantis. He smiles back anyway, since there's not really much else to do.

* * *

Rodney looks over the relays one more time. He's sure they're missing something. "Mer," he calls, and getting that name out of his mouth is still tough, even after the other McKay volunteered to go by Meredith. Maybe traveling across hundreds of dimensions means you don't really care what people call you.

"What?" Mer asks, annoyed. Really annoyed - not at Rodney's interruption, though that's a useful thing to point his irritation at for the moment, Rodney figures.

"John?" Rodney asks. He and John have been together for three years now; he knows how he sounds when he's pissed off because Sheppard's being Sheppard.

Mer sighs and puts down the crystals he's inspecting. "He thinks I'm stalling, that I don't _want_ to find an Atlantis to settle down."

"Are you?" Rodney asks. "Stalling?"

"No!" Mer answers, too quickly. That's guilt if Rodney's ever seen it.

"All right," Rodney says, and picks Mer up by his jacket. "It's time to talk to Teyla."

Teyla is one of Rodney's few constants in the Pegasus galaxy. When he's absolutely at the limit of keeping it together and the only person he has to yell at is John, he'll seek Teyla out because she can put things in perspective for him. He didn't think human beings were designed to handle life or death stress constantly for their entire lives, but Teyla proves him wrong at every turn. It should be humbling or infuriating or something more awe-inspiring than it is, but it's just Teyla, and she makes everything all right with her subtle humor and kind hands.

She answers the door as if she's expecting them. There's a pot of tea on her desk, as well as three mugs and sugar - which she started to keep after Rodney complained bitterly about the non-existent flavor of the _tosri_ root tea.

"Welcome, Rodney, Meredith." Rodney touches foreheads with her in the traditional greeting, and Mer does as well. Rodney might have expected that, but it's hard to remember this version of him had his own Atlantis and people he lived with and loved.

"Mer's having some trouble," Rodney says, figuring he should start things because he was the one who dragged Mer here in the first place. "He doesn't know what he wants."

"Hey!" Mer says, and Rodney realizes he's going to learn a lot about himself by watching this guy. The way his entire body tenses up when he gets defensive makes his own muscles bunch up in sympathy.

"Admit it," Rodney pushes. "You could have had that drive done two months ago. Which means you're stalling."

"Rodney," Teyla interrupts. "Why don't you pour the tea?"

Mer smiles meanly, and Rodney frowns at how unattractive it is. He would vow never to be a sore winner if that's what he looks like, but it's not really in him to be humble. He has to accept that Sheppard knows that and loves him anyway.

Rodney pours, handing a cup to Mer and Teyla before dumping several teaspoons full of sugar into his own. Mer doesn't flinch, drinks the tea like it doesn't taste like hot water that smells a little off. Teyla gives him a half smile and takes one of Mer's hands in hers.

"Why is it taking you so long to adjust the jumper?" Teyla asks. Rodney's always amazed by the fact that even though he knows she can't possibly follow the engineering, she gleans enough to be able to ask the right questions.

"The crystals are starting to burn out regularly," Mer says. "Every time I patch the power through another relay, two jumps later, she's burned out a crystal."

"Maybe she is tired," Teyla says, and Mer shifts in his seat as Teyla starts to massage his hand.

"I don't think that's possible. She's just a machine."

"Even machines wear out, do they not?"

Rodney takes a sip of tea to avoid laughing. It's that kind of logic that makes his world tilt on its axis and suddenly look right-side-up again.

Mer thinks on it. "Yes, okay. But still, there's the matter of finding an Atlantis that's suitable for us, and that's a lot more complicated than just 'Hi, hello, do you mind if we move in?'"

"Is it?" Teyla asks with fake sincerity, the kind that says, 'oh yes, I understand this is difficult, but do you understand it is also simple?'

"Yes," Mer answers without hesitation, missing the subtle jab. "John's not like most Sheppards, and I don't want to end up somewhere that people expect him to be someone he's not."

Teyla releases Mer's hand and looks at him expectantly. He sets his empty cup down and holds out his other hand. Teyla takes it, putting pressure on the web between his thumb and fingers and Mer closes his eyes.

"I think you might be underestimating some of us," Teyla says gently.

"Not you, of course," Mer says. "But you're the only one. There have been McKays, Weirs, Heightmeyers, you name it - all hanging on John like he is the answer to their dreams. He's not."

"How do you know this?" Teyla asks. "Perhaps they only wish to have another John Sheppard in their lives, no matter what he is like."

"That's..." Mer opens his eyes and gapes at Teyla. "That's exactly what _I_ wanted."

"And you got it, did you not? You have a John Sheppard - one that is acceptable, I assume, even though he is not similar to the original John Sheppard you knew?"

"Acceptable?!" Mer chokes. "It's not like I picked him out of a factory line."

"Didn't you?" Teyla asks, and Rodney turns his head away because she's got Mer by the balls, and it's probably not polite to smile at someone else's pain. "You had met many John Sheppards before you chose to take this one with you."

"He chose me!" Mer whines, pulling his hand away. He looks choked up, and Rodney's hopes of not having to watch himself cry have gone right down the drain. "_He_ chose _me_."

Teyla stood, moving behind Mer and smoothing her hands down his back. "So you are afraid if given another choice, he would _not_ choose you?"

* * *

John rolls around the corner of his favorite balcony, the same in most of the Atlantises they've been to, and stops short when he sees Rodney prime sitting crosslegged on the floor.

"Rodney?" he asks. He's not sure whether or not Rodney prime is allowed to wander on his own, but he's not sure how to ask, either.

"John!" Rodney looks up at him and smiles with his whole face, a smile that just about makes John's guts melt and drip onto his shoes. "You're supposed to call me Rodney prime," Rodney says solemnly. "So you can tell us apart."

It's patently ridiculous. Rodney prime is twenty-three and looks twelve, a curly-haired blonde with beautiful lips and a swimmers build. The brain damage happened when he was sixteen, in the same car accident that killed both his parents. The combination of youth, simplicity, and lack of genius make John's heart clench every time he looks at the boy.

"I think you just like the nickname," John chides, and Rodney prime beams at him again.

"Rodney prime is _cool_," he says. "I'm the _cool_ Rodney."

John feels his heart crack open a few more inches and plops himself down next to Rodney prime. "What're you doing up here?"

"Watching Atlantis," Rodney says. "She's dancing."

John looks out over the towers, and Atlantis is swaying a little, between the gentle waves of the ocean and the breeze whistling through the towers. "Hmm," he agrees.

"What are you doing up here, John?" Rodney prime asks, and John has to look away because he's pretty sure that Rodney prime will be able to read his mood, and he doesn't want to upset him.

"I just came out to think," he answers finally, leaning back against the warmth of Atlantis behind him.

"About me!" Rodney prime says. "The other me, the not-cool me."

"Yeah," John answers, and wishes he had put his sunglasses on before he stepped onto the balcony. If he puts them on now, Rodney prime will get upset.

"Did he do something bad?"

John almost chokes, coughs around the surprise that got caught in his throat. "No," he answers.

"I think it's bad," Rodney says decisively. "If he makes you sad, he did a bad thing. That's what Jeannie tells me."

John can't help smiling, so he ruffles a hand through Rodney's curls. "Rodney's not making me sad," John says. "I'm just going to be sorry to leave in a few days."

"You could stay," Rodney prime says, and John swallows before answering, making sure his voice sounds perfectly normal.

"I know, buddy. But I think Rodney needs me more than you do. You have Jeannie and Carson and Elizabeth, and all your other friends."

"Rodney has Teyla."

"Rodney!" Jeannie calls from the hallway. "What did I tell you about bothering John?"

"You've got it backwards," John says, getting up and brushing the dust off. "I interrupted Rodney prime's show."

"I don't mind," Rodney prime says, and Jeannie smiles indulgently at him. John smiles indulgently at Jeannie in turn.

"I'll walk with you back to the jumper bay, if you're headed that way," Jeannie says.

John wasn't planning to go back to the bay yet; he and Rodney seem to fight more often in the jumper bay than anywhere else. Probably because for Rodney, there's only the jumper bay, the mess hall, and bed (if they're given quarters), and he certainly isn't going to waste time arguing when there's food, sex, or sleep to be had.

"Walk with me, John," Jeannie says, commandeering his arm expertly. "Rodney, I expect you to be on time to dinner. That's what the extra special watch is for."

"Okay," Rodney prime says, but he's already staring open-mouthed at Atlantis again as John and Jeannie turn to leave.

Jeannie waits until they're out of Rodney prime's earshot before putting the screws to him. "What's the matter?" she asks. She's patient enough to wait for a full minute before asking him something more pointed.

"All right, if you won't tell me what's the matter with you, will you please tell me what's the matter with Rodney?" Her hand is in the crook of his elbow, and she steers him away from a transporter with a yank on his arm, patting his bicep like he's a good little child. "He has no concentration, can't even answer simple questions, and I'm pretty sure he was crying when I got back from lunch."

John _really_ wishes he had his sunglasses on. "I imagine he's upset because he thinks I'm planning on staying behind."

"What?" Jeannie thunders, and she is _exactly_ as loud and obnoxious as Rodney. "You are _not_ planning on staying here."

John raises his eyebrows. "I'm not welcome?"

Jeannie glares at him until he has to look away.

"He's the one that brought it up," John mumbles. John would never even think about staying somewhere without Rodney. He's pretty sure his heart was ripped out of his chest when Rodney suggested it. It doesn't help matters that John left without saying anything, but what are you supposed to say when someone tells you that you should stay behind?

"Don't be an idiot," Jeannie says, and John smiles ruefully at the not-quite-an-insult that seems to run in the McKay family. "He wants to give you the chance to find someone better than him. He thinks he doesn't deserve you."

* * *

Rodney sits in camp, poking the fire with a stick, remembering camping trips with Jeannie when he was a kid. He's tired. Every Atlantis they've been in has had something wrong with it, some detail that meant it wouldn't work, they couldn't stay. Even with the varied jump times, they're still wasting a lot of time sifting through realities that aren't right for one reason or another.

Three jumps ago, he thought they had found their home. There was both a McKay and a Sheppard, but neither seemed to mind the idea of sharing Atlantis with their extra selves.

Then McKay asked him if he would mind sharing John.

_"Excuse me?" Rodney asked. There was no way McKay was asking what Rodney thought he was-_

_"Or if you think he'd be squeamish, maybe I could just pretend to be you."_

_Rodney gripped the wrench he had in his hands and counted backwards from twenty in French. "No," he said finally, hefting the wrench and letting it fall into his other palm. "If you want Sheppard that badly, you ask Sheppard. John is not some toy to be passed around."_

_"But you're me-" McKay started and it took all Rodney's willpower not to brain McKay right then and there._

_"I'm not you. You're not me. And John is not Sheppard. If you want Sheppard, you ask Sheppard. If you want John, you can ask John, but I doubt he'll say yes." Rodney was ninety-six percent sure that John could tell them apart, even if this McKay tried to trick him, but he wasn't going to let it get that far._

_"Sheppard would never have me," McKay said, and Rodney understood, he had been there, dozens more times than this McKay. It didn't make it any better. Nor did it make it less creepy. Asking your double for a chance at their boyfriend was just _wrong_._

_"Well, neither would John," Rodney said, with a mental _I hope_ at the end of it._

_"Maybe I'll have to test that theory."_

"What're you thinking about?" John asks, resting a hand on Rodney's shoulder.

Rodney jumps a little before mumbling an incoherent answer. John sits down next to him and waits. He's annoyingly perceptive when it comes to Rodney's moods. He also has twice the patience of his original Sheppard, and that was considerable. Rodney stares at the fire for a while.

"That McKay, three jumps ago?" He waits for an acknowledgment, but John doesn't say anything. "He wanted to..."

John laughs and shakes his head. "He wanted to have sex with me."

"Yeah," Rodney says. It's times like this that he can't really believe John is here and real, that John chose to come with him. "He said he could pretend to be me if you were squeamish."

That gets a bright peal of laughter from John. "Squeamish? What am I, an old lady?"

"John."

"Rodney," John teases.

"I said he could ask you, if that's what he wanted." John sobers at that statement, and Rodney plows ahead. That Rodney may have been creepy, but what if there's a better Rodney for John? What if John wants to be with a Teyla or a Ronon or a Kate? "I don't own you. I can't say who you can and can't sleep with. And I wouldn't blame you if someone tricked you, there was that one McKay that you could hardly tell from me, I wouldn't be upset if-"

"Rodney," John says softly, but with a fond exasperation in his voice. "I can tell you apart from all the other McKays."

"Even that one-"

"Even that one," John says reassuringly. "He didn't smell like you. None of them do."

"It's not just that," Rodney says, wishing he could shut up and take John's answers at face value. "You can sleep with anyone you want. You can sleep with yourself if you want." John laughs again, which is reassuring, because the while the idea of two Sheppards getting it on is hot, it's also downright disturbing.

"Why the sudden doubt?" John asks, still smiling. His soft, ever-present smile is one of the many things that make him different from Rodney's old Sheppard, from almost every Sheppard.

"Not so sudden," Rodney admits. It's a running joke, the two of them defending each other from rabid Sheppards, McKays, Kellers, Carters, Heightmeyers and numerous other people their alternate reality selves had been involved with. It led to a sort of ritualized affection - kissing hello and goodbye, touching each other often, arms possessively draped over one another. It's not fun or funny anymore, not that he minds touching and kissing John publicly, just that he hates having to.

"Reconsidering Jennifer?" John asks, and he's _still_ smiling, like he knows Rodney's mind better than Rodney knows himself.

"Of course not," Rodney huffs, frowning. "I'm talking about _you_, you moron."

"I'm not reconsidering Jennifer."

"John," Rodney says, closing his eyes and rubbing his temples. He's getting a headache.

"Don't _John_ me," John says, and the smile finally slips. "I know this is tough to understand, god knows it took me a while to figure out that everyone was making googly eyes at me and not you." John rubs a hand through his hair, making it stick up even crazier than usual. "Where I come from, _you're_ the pinup. Not me. I'm a scrawny guy with too much hair and weird eyes. You're the guy on the cover of GQ."

Rodney's jaw drops, and he can't do anything but stare at John stupidly for a few seconds.

"I couldn't believe you were hitting on me," John says, shaking his head. "No one ever hits on me."

Several things suddenly click into place, and Rodney could kick himself for not figuring this out sooner. His Sheppard was charming because he knew he was good-looking. If not that, then at the very least, he understood the reactions of everyone in his life based on his looks and abused people's interest accordingly (probably why Rodney's interest in his brain was so perplexing). John is shy, a little goofy, and lacking a certain unconscious social confidence that most of the Sheppards have in spades.

"Your entire reality is full of idiots," Rodney says with conviction, and pulls John down for a kiss.

John lands in his lap, and Rodney puts his hands on John's hips to keep him from getting up. If all the rabid McKays, Heightmeyers, Weirs, and random other admirers from the last eighty-two jumps haven't beaten into his skull how desirable he is, Rodney's going to have to do it himself.

John has to lean down to kiss Rodney this way, but he doesn't hesitate, bowing his back and straining his neck to meet Rodney's upturned face.

Rodney doesn't dare move his hands from John's hips, even though he wants to. He wants to hold John still and lick every millimeter of his skin, wants to spend hours running his hands over Sheppard's body, feeling the muscles tremble under the press of his fingers. If he lets John take over, though, he'll be flat on his back in seconds, and it's always been impossible for him to turn John down from that position.

Rodney's got more words than he needs most of the time. Words enough to deflect and confuse and sometimes, even, enlighten. It is rare that the words he needs to say to John show up when he wants them - usually he's too busy saying 'fuck' on repeat as John slides into him slow and sweet or screaming at the top of his lungs because John's doing something stupidly heroic - is it in the genes? He never seems to have the words to tell John how special he is, how Rodney _would_ have picked him out of every Sheppard they've ever met and all those that exist everywhere else too.

He may never have words, but he can be a bossy sonofabitch, so he scoops John up and lays him out on the sleeping bags they have spread next to the fire. They've taken this jump off, and Rodney tweaked the energy build ratio in Teyla to give them three extra days to lay around and make s'mores and sleep and do this. He loves to undress John, slowly reveal his skin and watch his body rise up to meet Rodney's hands.

He spends hours tracing the contours of John's body with his hands and tongue, sucking kisses across his chest and gliding fingers over his legs with just enough pressure to make John quiver instead of laugh. He watches the muscles draw up under his touch and John's face go slack with pleasure.

Finally, when John's breathy groans turn to whines, when he begs for Rodney to fuck him, Rodney slides in, smooth and slick and sure to hit John's prostate every time until he's reduced to incoherent whimpers and finally, finally, Rodney puts a hand on his cock, stroking him through an orgasm that tightens his whole body around Rodney, his ass and his legs and his arms, and Rodney feels like he's underwater, the enveloping pressure of the ocean surrounding him and bringing him home.

They lie next to each other silently for a while, the only indication that John's not asleep is the brush of his fingers up and down Rodney's arm.

"So I figure we need a list," John says, and Rodney stops trying to chart the stars under this sky. It was hard enough to rearrange them in his head when he went to a new galaxy. Planet-hopping made it another degree tougher and reality-hopping has made it all but impossible, but he still tries.

"A list of what?" Rodney asks, because he's still feeling indulgent.

"Deal-breakers," John says, and Rodney's stomach turns over and tries to lodge itself behind his kidney.

"Deal-breakers?"

"What can't you live with, in any given Atlantis?" John asks, and suddenly Rodney can breathe again. _Jesus_.

"A McKay that wants you and is morally bankrupt enough to do anything to have you." Best to get the obvious stuff out of the way. "Wait," Rodney adds. "That goes for the rest of the Atlantis personnel too. I never want to have to fight off another Lorne."

"He was under the influence of some crazy alien drug," John says, but he shivers all the same.

"Whatever," Rodney says dismissively. "We should be taken on our own merits, and we should be able to say 'no' and have it stick."

"Agreed," John says. He slides his fingers along Rodney's ribs, the closest thing to fidgeting Rodney's ever seen on him.

"Out with it," Rodney says. "You want something."

"I don't want to say it's a necessity," John says, drumming his fingers on Rodney's chest.

"But?"

John sighs. "I want Ronon and Teyla."

Rodney smiles. He hadn't really been willing to bring it up, but he wants his team too. "Okay."

John seems surprised at the acquiesence. Rodney shrugs. "I miss Ronon and Teyla almost as much as I miss Sheppard. And I miss Radek too, but if you ever tell him that I will beat your ass from here to New Athos."

John laughs, easily dodging Rodney's swat to his head.

"What about enemies?" Rodney asks. "Versions of ourselves? People or situations you can't live with?" He doesn't think they can afford to be too picky, but there may be something John needs that he doesn't know about yet.

"I don't think there's anything else that's an absolute deal-breaker." John sighs heavily. "Ronon and Teyla aren't either, but they're number one on my 'if I win the lottery' list."

Rodney nods slowly. There have been realities that they knew wouldn't work as soon as they dialed in. There were others that it took a few days for the issues that bothered one of them to come to a head enough for them to understand why it wouldn't work. "We can adjust the time now," Rodney says. "We can jump right away if it won't work, and give ourselves a couple extra days if we're not sure."

"We can't be too picky," John says, yawning. "Teyla's tired. She doesn't have another fifty jumps in her."

"It's so cute when you anthropomorphize the puddlejumper."

"It's so cute that you don't understand puddlejumpers are people too."

* * *

She cools the room for them subtly, enough to compensate for the fluctuations in body temperature. Council meetings are always tricky, so many people in one room with such different needs. This meeting is even more so, and there are two familiar strangers among the many faces known to her.

Grodin is giving the science division's report. McKay is here but doesn't take over. It's why he sends Grodin to the council in the first place. He would have snuck in when the reports were over if he didn't think Woolsey would reprimand him.

Sheppard gives the military division's report, succinct as always, but with detailed documents that people could look at later, if they desired to see what he was doing. She likes him. Not because he fits her like a missing piece of a puzzle, but because he feels responsible for her and talks to her sometimes, when he thinks no one is listening.

Weir watches as Emmagen gives the diplomatic report. Those two are strong, symbols of Atlantis herself, in human form. Weir is the leader of this group in spirit, even if Woolsey is in name. Woolsey knows this too, and prefers it. He has a respect for Weir that makes things work well even when there are tensions between the divisions, or there are people from outside this room who pull the strings of those inside.

Weir follows Emmagen, speaking to how valuable the new arrivals are, that the council should be honored they would choose this for their home. There are several ambassadors on the council, people who have chosen to stay with her and the Lanteans, follow Emmagen's example and build bonds with the people working to free them from the Wraith. Dex, the ambassador from Sateda, raises his glass in welcome, and several other ambassadors and the entire Lantean council follows suit.

There is some fear, mostly from those who are already afraid of Sheppard and McKay, thinking this will unbalance the power at the table.

It will, but not in the places they expect. She is proud of her council. Weir and Woolsey have already agreed that the newcomers should be in the diplomatic division - to work on creating better interdivisional cooperation.

When asked to speak, Rodney, usually so easy to words, another who talks to her - and without the slight shame of thinking she can't hear him - is silent. John steps forward and takes Rodney's hand.

"This is home," John says, and tension in the room seems to lessen.

_Yes_, she echoes. _This is home._


End file.
